Are you a heterosexual woman?
Then, two questions…it’s understandable you may feel nervous, shy, apprehensive, or even with a negative reaction towards men… but
1) What sexual response do you expect when you are touched sexually by a woman?
2) What can the experience give you for developing in your sexuality? with men
It wouldn’t work for you with a woman…
…and it wouldn’t work for her with you, if the massage is genuine
It may seem like quite a challenge to come to a man who will touch you intimately. Some women think that all men offering this bodywork would have their own agenda and only a woman will be genuinely caring. Others think that men can’t understand female sexuality and only a woman will be able to relate to you. Others look for sexual healing and decide that a woman is a safer option, if only a stage.
It is true that you can find many “personal” offers, or simply ingenuine ones. However, it simply depends on professionalism.
As a heterosexual woman you are healing and learning to equip yourself to form a healthy sexual interaction with men. So the biggest healing, learning and the maximum response will happen when
you are interacting with healthy and supportive masculinity.
Tantric Massage is not a counselling session
I am constantly surprised by heterosexual female practitioners offering this experience to heterosexual women. To me it appears to be a deep misunderstanding of sexuality bodyworks. There are many ways sexuality can be addressed – psychology, Tantra workshops, counselling, educative media – where, indeed, a woman helping a woman makes sense in a “me too” way. A sensual massage, however, is not a lecture or a counselling session – it is about feeling real sexual energy and sexual response in the body and out of the mind. It is not just about understanding and relating, it is about being able to give a client an actual experience of sexual energy expansion and guide it.
A Tantric massage works with the common sense response of sexual energy in the person who receives it. Sexual energy will only flow along its natural sexual orientation lines. If you are mainly or exclusively heterosexual, you will have little useful response while working with a woman.
Why Tantric massage wouldn’t work for you with a woman
You will not feel any significant aliveness of sexual energy when you are touched by a woman. Your body is not a machine, it’s not just about touching mechanically in certain places. There has to be a natural flux and magnetism of male and female energies to make you respond, if you are heterosexual. Yes, it may be exactly the same massage but just the fact that it is a man touching you will make your energy respond in a completely different, natural and powerful way, than if you are touched by a woman.
In fact, getting it from a woman may turn out to be a confusing experience. You may think that going to a man for this kind of massage is unnatural and uncomfortable – but going to a woman is even more unnatural for you. Instead of receiving helpful progress in what matters – your response to male energy – you are forced to explore something irrelevant – your response to women. (Again, unless homosexual relationships is exactly what you want to explore). You may end up laying there wondering whether you should enjoy being touched sexually by a woman, and what does it all mean. Not only may it cancel out any benefits of Tantric massage, it may also leave you in a state of confusion. This is not a woman-to-woman counselling, this is sexual energy journey. Feeling more relaxed with a woman has nothing at all to do with sexual expansion or healing – what you need is your ability to connect to being touched by a man and being with a woman is a completely unrelated experience, not even as a stage.
Needless to say, this only applies if you are straight. If you are gay you should receive a tantric massage from a woman.
Why it wouldn’t work for her with you either
The therapist (unless gay) is also not likely to send much more during the massage than a mechanical going through the motions. This is why many female-to-female Tantric massages end up feeling mechanical and lifeless for the client, or at least asexual.
You may be duped into believing that a Tantric massage is about moving things from chakra to chakra asexually, impartially and reiki-like. Or you may be told that your genitals need the equivalent of a back massage to relieve tension in the internal muscles.
But a good Tantric massage awakens real sexual energy deep within you. It comes from the heart, it is physical bodywork driven by emotions of appreciation, admiration and love.
There has to be a natural magnetism between male and female energies in the heterosexual scenario. To put an aura of sexuality into this work the therapist has to put some healthy and natural male-to-female devotion into his hands, even if only in an abstract way. Male hands will always touch a woman’s body with certain sexual energy, just by definition, and the woman’s body will respond differently too. A heterosexual female therapist will simply feel no relevant emotion and can only touch you in a removed and procedural way, or at the very least with comforting and soothing touch which has no sexual impact. This is another reason why your sexual energy wouldn’t respond.
This would never be suggested in a real Tantric massage
All in all, there seems to be a suggestion that one can do the Tantric massage with disregard for sexual orientation and treating sexual energy asexually. This sounds like a normal holistic relaxation massage and a variety of other therapies, and just the fact that genitals are mechanically touched doesn’t turn it into a Tantric experience.
It is understandable that women might feel nervous about going to a male therapist but you also want to consider whether what you want to receive is a genuine experience. For a heterosexual woman the only option for an authentic Tantric massage is going to a man. It is just a case of choosing someone who seems trustworthy and genuine. You should indeed take good care in your choice and unfortunately genuine male practitioners are rare. Do exercise caution but don’t settle for an easy option that gives no benefit.