Are you a heterosexual woman?
Then, two questions…it’s understandable you may feel nervous, shy, apprehensive, or even a negative reaction towards men… but:
1) How will you feel when touched sexually by a woman? Will you be able to naturally connect with this experience?
2) What will you achieve by being comfortable with a woman, if you are looking to develop your sexuality as a heterosexual woman?
This article will explain to you why a Tantric massage wouldn’t work for you as well with a woman, and it wouldn’t work for her with you, if the Tantric massage is genuine.
Here are some of the reasons why women sometimes may believe that receiving a Tantric massage from a man is not desirable and you should choose a female instead:
1. When giving you a Tantric massage, a man would be looking to get some sort of sexual gratification for himself rather than do it for you.
It may seem logical that only a female therapist will not have some sort of own interest in touching you and will do a Tantric massage dedicated to you. And indeed, in this market there may be some men who offer tantric massage for women for dubious reason as some sort of personal adventure.
You would be talking about bad quality unprofessional Tantric massage which you should stay away from, whether with a man or a woman.
A genuine male Tantric massage therapist will not make a long-term career acting from this kind of motivation, and their level of professionalism will be obvious to you from their presentation and conversation.
One can only make a long-term career by dedicating himself completely to women and their benefit. Only in full one hundred percent service to women can one have a successful practice with long-term returning clients who feel genuine benefit, progress and development. Otherwise this career simply won’t happen.
Men who genuinely work with female sexuality are few, but the established ones have got there by supporting the woman in what she truly needs. They also would have completed their own journey in sexuality, grounded themselves firmly and don’t operate from the selfish and uncontrolled motivations that you may fear from your general experience with men.
2. A woman will know better how to touch your body.
Yes it is true that many men have no clue how to touch a woman but they don’t make a career as experts in female sexuality. You are not looking for an average member of the public, you’re looking for a professional with expertise.
Just because the therapist has a female body too doesn’t mean she will be able to provide you with effective and valuable bodywork.
Women are hugely different and it takes extensive experience to see all varieties and work with them – just judging from your own body doesn’t work.
In fact, the majority of women who offer Tantric massage to women offer it parallel to Tantric massage for men, as you will observe. In reality the vast majority of the clientele is likely to be men, with only the occasional woman. The experience with women can be less frequent than that of a male therapist who works exclusively with women. Some female therapists may have extensive experience with women but that is more of an exception than a rule.
In the end one’s expertise is not defined by their own personal experience but by their knowledge, professionalism and experience with a variety of clients in their work.
In addition, it is not a fact that a woman knows how the female body works. My work consists of mainly showing women that the typical things that women know about their own bodies don’t work very well and I offer new insights that give a better experience, which I have gathered over many years of experience.
3. With a woman you will feel safer.
It is obvious that with a woman you may feel safer. However, the purpose of the Tantric massage for women is not purely to feel safe – after all the safest place is not to venture anywhere. The purpose is to benefit and to grow. A safe environment is important but you have to consider the value and benefit of the work beyond just safety as an aim in itself.
If your challenge is to feel safe and relaxed with men, to feel more connected with your experience with men, then you will be looking for a safe and supportive environment that will help your progress in that direction. That environment is a Tantric massage from a male practitioner, not from a woman.
As a heterosexual woman you are healing and learning to equip yourself to form a healthy sexual interaction with men. An experience with a woman is completely irrelevant to this purpose. So the biggest healing, learning and the maximum response will happen when you are interacting with healthy and supportive masculinity.
Tantric Massage for women is not a counselling session
I am constantly surprised by heterosexual female practitioners offering this experience to heterosexual women. To me it appears to be a deep misunderstanding of sexuality bodyworks. There are many ways sexuality can be addressed – psychology, Tantra workshops, counselling, educative media – where, indeed, a woman helping a woman makes sense in a “me too” way, and they work excellently if this is the path you choose to take.
If you have chosen a sensual Tantric massage, however, then it is not a lecture or a counselling session – it is about feeling real sexual energy and sexual response in the body and out of the mind. It is not just about understanding and relating, it is about being able to give a client an actual experience of sexual energy expansion and guide it.
A Tantric massage works with the common sense response of sexual energy in the person who receives it. Sexual energy will only flow along its natural sexual orientation lines. If you are mainly or exclusively heterosexual, you may have little useful response while working with a woman.
Why Tantric massage wouldn’t work for you with a woman
You may not feel any significant aliveness of sexual energy when you are touched by a woman because it is not a natural experience for you.
Your body is not a machine, it’s not just about touching mechanically in certain places. There is little effect to be achieved this way. You need to feel like a woman – beautiful, sensual, sexual – in a sexual experience that is natural to you.
You need to be touched by a man, to feel male energy to make you respond, if you are heterosexual. Yes, it may be exactly the same Tantric massage but just the fact that it is a man touching you will make your energy respond in a completely different, natural and powerful way, than if you are touched by a woman.
In fact, getting it from a woman may turn out to be a confusing experience. You may think that receiving a Tantric massage from a male practitioner is unnatural and uncomfortable – but going to a woman is even more unnatural for you. Instead of receiving helpful progress in what matters – your response to male energy – you are forced to explore something irrelevant – your sexual response to women. (Again, unless homosexual relationships are exactly what you want to explore).
You may end up lying there wondering whether you should enjoy being touched sexually by a woman, and what it all means. Not only may it cancel out any benefits of Tantric massage, it may also leave you in a state of confusion. This is not a woman-to-woman counselling, this is sexual energy journey.
Needless to say, this only applies if you are straight. If you are gay you should receive a Tantric massage from a woman.
Why it wouldn’t work for her with you either
The therapist (unless gay) is also not likely to send much more during the Tantric massage than a mechanical going through the motions. This is why many female-to-female Tantric massages end up feeling mechanical and lifeless for the client, or at least asexual – comforting, nurturing, but not a sexual expansion.
You may be duped into believing that a Tantric massage is about moving things from chakra to chakra asexually, impartially and reiki-like. Or you may be told that your genitals need the equivalent of a back massage to relieve tension in the internal muscles.
But a good Tantric massage awakens real sexual energy deep within you. It comes from the heart, it is physical bodywork driven by emotions of appreciation, admiration and love that the therapist will invest.
To put an aura of sexuality into the Tantric massage for a heterosexual woman the therapist has to put some healthy and natural male-to-female devotion into his hands, even if only in an abstract way. Male hands will always touch a woman’s body with certain sexual magnetism, just by definition, and a good Tantric therapist knows how to channel this in service to you and focused completely on your experience. The woman’s body will then respond very differently than to a mechanical stimulation. A heterosexual female therapist is very likely to feel no relevant emotion and touch you in a removed and procedural way, or at the very least with comforting and soothing touch which has no sexual impact. This is another reason why your sexual energy wouldn’t respond.
This would never be suggested in a real Tantric massage for women
All in all, there seems to be a suggestion that one can do the Tantric massage for women with disregard for sexual orientation and treat sexual energy asexually. This sounds like a normal holistic relaxation massage and a variety of other therapies, and just the fact that genitals are mechanically touched doesn’t turn it into a Tantric experience.
It is understandable that women might feel nervous about going to a male therapist for a Tantric massage or a Yoni massage but you also want to consider whether what you want to receive is a genuine experience. For a heterosexual woman the only option for an authentic Tantric massage is receiving it from a man. It is just a case of choosing someone who seems trustworthy and genuine. You should indeed take good care in your choice and unfortunately genuine male practitioners are rare. Do exercise caution but don’t settle for an easy option that gives no benefit.