Tantric Massage for Women and Couples

Why Only For Women?

Why do I do Tantric massage only for women? And why should you go to receive it from a man rather than from a woman? It may seem like quite a challenge to come to a man who will touch you intimately. Some women think that all men offering Tantric massage have their own agenda and only a woman will be genuinely caring. Others think that men can't understand female sexuality and only a woman will be able to relate to you. Others look for sexual healing and decide that a woman is a safer option, if only a stage.

It is true that you can find many offers of "personal" Tantric massage or simply ingenuine ones. By all means you should take care to make sure that the practitioner appears professional. However, although the majority of men unfortunately are indeed ingorant in this respect, not all men are, especially those genuine practitioners who have dedicated themselves to working with female sexuality. Women are not necessarily well informed either - in many instances there is a lot left to find out for an average woman about her own sexuality.

I am constantly surprised by heterosexual female practitioners offering Tantric massage to heterosexual women. To me it appears to be a deep misunderstanding of sexuality bodyworks. There are many ways sexuality can be addressed - psychology, Tantra workshops, councelling, educative media - where, indeed, a woman helping a woman makes sense in a "me too" way. A Tantric massage, however, is not a lecture or a councelling session, it is direct experience through the body and out of the mind. It is not just about understanding and relating, it is about being able to give a client an actual experience of sexual energy expansion and guide it.

Both the giver and the receiver of a Tantric massage are subject to universal sexual energy laws. Sexual energy will only flow along its natural sexual orientation lines, which leaves only 3 possible combinations: between gay men, between gay women and between straight man and woman.

It wouldn't work for you with a woman
... you will not feel any real expansion of sexual energy when you are stimulated by a woman. Your body is not a machine, it's not just about touching mechanically in certain places. There has to be a natural flux and magnetism of male and female energies if you are heterosexual. You have to be receptive to loving male hands. Yes, it may be exactly the same massage but just the fact that it is a man touching you will make your energy respond in a completely different, natural and powerful way, than if you are touched by a woman.

In fact, getting a tantric massage from a woman may turn out to be a disturbing experience. You may think that going to a man for this kind of massage is unnatural and uncomfortable - but going to a woman is even more unnatural for you. You may end up laying there wondering whether you should enjoy being touched sexually by a woman or you shouldn't, unless this is exactly what you want to explore. Not only it will cancel out any benefits of tantric massage, it may also leave you in a state of confusion. This is not a woman-to-woman counselling, this is sexual energy journey. Feeling more relaxed with a woman has nothing at all to do with sexual expansion or healing - what you need is your ability to be relaxed with a man and being with a woman is a completely unrelated experience, not even as a stage.

Needless to say, this only applies if you are straight. If you are gay you should go to a woman by all means.

It also wouldn't work for her with you
...the therapist (unless gay) is also not likely to feel much more during the massage than a mechanical going through the motions. You may be duped into believing that a Tantric massage is about moving things from chakra to chakra asexually impartially and reiki-like. Or you may be told that your genitals need the equivalent of a back massage to relieve tension in the internal muscles.

A good Tantric massage comes from the heart, it is physical bodywork driven by emotions of appreciation, admiration and love. Those exist naturally along sexual orientation lines but not against them. There has to be a natural magnetism between male and female energies in the heterosexual scenario. To put an aura of sexuality into the Tantric massage the therapist has to put a healthy portion of natural male-to-female desire into his hands, even if only in an abstract way. We are not talking about the actual desire towards you personally, but male hands will always touch a woman's body with certain sexual energy, just by definition, and the woman's body will respond differently too. A heterosexual woman simply won't have this and your sexual energy wouldn't respond either.

All in all, there seems to be a suggestion that one can do the Tantric massage with disregard for sexual orientation and treating sexual energy asexually. This sounds like a normal holistic relaxation massage and a variety of other therapies, and just the fact that genitals are mechanically touched doesn't turn it into a Tantric experience.

It is understandable that women might feel nervous about going to a man for a Tantric massage but you also want to consider whether what you want to receive is an actual Tantric massage. For a heterosexual woman the only option for an authentic Tantric massage is going to a man. It is just a case of choosing someone who seems trustworthy and genuine, you should indeed take good care in your choice and unfortunately genuine male practitioners are rare. Women are intuitive, if you call the therapist and have a chat you should get an idea.

You would also find Your Comfort page useful.