Sex therapy and help when you can’t relax or let go in sex, in London

If you are unable to relax in sex or can’t let go and enjoy the moment, you can try the alternative to sex therapy for women via Tantric bodywork which I provide in my practice Tantric Therapy London.  can be a very effective solution for this problem.

When women say “I can’t relax during sex”, or “I can’t let go during sex” it is not a specific problem in itself with a specific solution – it is more of an umbrella term for different causes that can create this feeling of tension, restriction and block in sex.

You may feel busy in your mind: self-conscious, or stressed about sex, or under pressure to perform, or excessively focusing on pleasing your partner.

You may feel anxious about the sex itself, or how you will perform in it, or how you will be perceived in it, or if you will do something wrong.

You may feel in some way threatened by sex and anxious due to previous negative experiences, for example.

You may be worried about how you look, or insecure about you skills.

You may have a physical reaction come on from your anxiety – tension in the vagina that is called vaginismus.

I have worked with women who named all these diverse problems in their sex, but no matter how different their respective problems were they would summarise it as ‘I can’t relax’.

So you can’t really treat ‘I can’t relax in sex’ or ‘I can’t let go in sex’ any more than a doctor can treat ‘I feel unwell’. It’s important to look into your specific experience and from there it would be clear what approach, technique and method is most relevant for you to feel better.

I have worked with many women who suffered from not being able to relax in sex, and this body-centred approach has generally been very effective.

We can work on this issue in two ways:

Through a tantric massage appointment

Through a consultation appointment

(if tantric massage is out of your comfort zone)

Please call me to discuss your particular issue. There are variations, and I can give you a more specific explanation of your difficulties, and a more specific solution that will work best for you.

How Tantric Massage can help if you can’t relax or let go in sex

It is very difficult to give yourself an instruction to ‘just relax’, and it’s useless to give someone advice ‘you need to relax’. You already know that you need to, but you don’t know how to achieve that.

This is why a Tantric massage is an invaluable remedy  if you can’t relax or let go in sex.

– In the Tantric massage we create an experience for you where all the pressures are off, you don’t need to do anything, don’t need to worry about your partner, don’t need to achieve anything or perform.

– You are in a safe, nurturing and supportive environment.

– You have a chance to not chase anything, force anything or perform – in fact you are not allowed, as you are passive on the massage table.

– You have to go into your body, and just learn to receive sensations with a relaxed mind, connect with them more and enjoy them with no pressure, or expectations from yourself or your partner.

– During the massage I am teaching you special Tantric mental and emotional techniques to relax into the sexual moment. I guide you with my voice into a certain emotional and mental state. You will learn these techniques for your own use in this Tantric massage.

– The physical experience of Tantric massage itself is a soothing and nourishing experience of sexual energy – very different to what you normally would feel in your sex life. This makes your body let go deep within, removes sexual tensions and blocks from your body, and allows your body to enjoy the moment in a relaxed state of mind.

You learn from this experience and you become able to flow in sex in your private life without mental tension. Tantric massage also makes your body naturally more relaxed and sensitive in sex.

Tension / relaxation are instinctive and subconscious reaction in the body. They are very difficult to affect intellectually – with talking therapy etc. There is no more effective method than direct communication with your body that teaches your body to relax.

More information on Tantric massage:

For more information read about Tantric massage therapy.

You can also read about Yoni massage therapy in London.

Tantric massage may seem like a very unusual way to treat your problem, maybe even out of your comfort zone.

But if you think logically, it is the most effective.

In sexuality you can read and talk all you want but when the real moment comes your mind and body react instinctively – from their conditioning, habit, experience. They don’t remember what you talked about, they act from what they felt, what they trust, what they believe from experience.

Working with the body through Tantric massage:
– You learn from real experience in your body – but in a controlled, guided and supportive set up
– Your body receives profound healing from real positive experience
– Your body builds up positive memories and trust
– Your body reconditions to a natural positive response
– Your body is awakened with real sexual energy
– You gain control over your mind and responses in real practice

Working with direct responses of body and mind this is a profound transformation and healing. You become someone different, it’s not just reading or hearing an idea.

Generally I have had an extremely high success rate with clients who couldn’t relax and let go during sex.

A Tantric massage is a very powerful remedy that leads you into relaxation physically, emotionally, mentally, all while you are experiencing sexual energy.

It is particularly aligned with female sexuality and works very well for women.

I generally haven’t had client who were not able to achieve a more relaxed state in their sex life, as long as they persevered with my Tantric therapy.

However, depending on the person and the situation it can be immediate or a more gradual process.

I focus particularly on long-term change – from this experience I want you to learn how you can create this easy and relaxed state in sex yourself, and there is also an organic process where your body becomes generally more open, content and able to relax and invite sexual sensations.

How consultations can help you deal with this problem

There is no substitute to working directly with the body with issues of tension / relaxation. It is the most effective and fastest remedy to help with this problem.

However, if this is too much out of your comfort zone, you can choose to have a consultation appointment with me instead. I can give advice on what you can do at home on your own to deal with this issue.

As the next step please give me a call to discuss your problem, at no commitment. As with any healing it is important to understand your specific situation and which solutions may work for you. I will be able to explain a remedy that would fit you in particular.


I make it clear that I am not a qualified and accredited sex therapist.

In the UK the formal definition of a sex therapist is that of being a medical professional or a psychotherapist. These therapists are not allowed physical contact with a client.

I have explained why these approaches are limited for many people with sex problems, while they are very helpful for some.

I provide solution and / or improvement through an alternative approach to sex therapy that is explicitly based in the client being touched in a sexual / sensual way as a guided and educational experience. I do not use bodyworks that involve non-sexual touch, nor do I provide talking therapy. I make it clear that it is not accredited as conventional sex therapy.

My approach rests on giving you a safe and supportive environment to learn about a positive sexual approach and receive a healing effect from this journey.

I don’t treat medical conditions or psychological disorders. If you are in need of this kind of treatment, you have to see a qualified professional in those areas.

However, you are welcome to work with me in combination with those professionals to support your work.


I understand that this is a big step and you are anxious. It is also hard to decide it on your own whether the Tantric massage is right for you and how it would work – because you don’t know much about this.

I would be very happy to set up a free 20-30 minute phone call where we can talk it through – at no commitment.

All I ask is that you first send me some details on your situation and what you wanted to see me about, so I can see whether I can help. I would also need to send you some info on how I currently work, and if you are ok with that I will then be happy to set up a time for us to talk.

This way you can explore the possibility without anything to lose or to risk and then you can decide if it is right for you.

Remember that you can also start with online consultations, and then progress to Tantric massage from there.

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