The idea of Tantric massage may seem so out of your comfort zone that you will immediately discard it as something a person like you would never do. You may be interested in the ideas but you would try to take them in intellectually, without anyone touching you. You may opt for a book or a workshop / talk instead of a Tantric massage. But could it be that you are passing on an excellent opportunity?
Daniel Odier, a Tantric Master, says in his book “Desire – The Tantric Path to Awakening”: “a single instant of total presence in experience is worth the reading of all the texts”.
Sexuality is mind in the body, mind with the body, it is a sensation, a feeling. Sexuality is not an intellectual pursuit – your finer intuition of beauty and emotionality is at the centre of it all. And your body is an important partner, not a subordinate. What it thinks, understand, hears, says, is not in the language of thoughts. It is non-verbal, non-mental.
Experiencing your sexuality will be worth infinitely more than reading about it or hearing about it. And that is what an authentic Tantric massage for women is for.
There are some other good reasons, apart from the fact that experience is the best teacher.
Your body doesn’t understand words
You know that often what you wish for in your head doesn’t become the bodily reality. This is because your body doesn’t understand words – it understands touch, love, instinctive danger, instinctive good. It lives in its own dimension.
Do you want to discover a new quality of sexual feeling? Then you have to teach your body new ways of feeling and behaving. Talking to it in words is like a foreign language to it. It will understand best if it learns from the voice of loving touch, from reacting to that voice in a new way – which is what the Tantric bodywork can deliver.
Body Habits Die Hard
Whether you slouch or bite your nails you know how hard it is to change the way your body behaves. In sexuality it is even more so – everything is on the subconscious level. Your body won’t do a 180 degree turn just because you have decided it should. This is why mentally positive women often still experience withdrawal or pain in sex. This is why women can find it difficult to relax in sex, to avoid frustration or to get fully aroused regardless of their mental effort.
Your body has memory. It remembers the good and the bad. It acts intuitively, from experience. It braces itself or opens in trust, it knows what to do only from what it has experienced. An intellectual effort will tell your body nothing new – it needs to make new experiential memories to change its patterns. A Tantric massage is a supportive and guided space to do that.
Sexuality is not logic – it’s feeling the flow
Sexual experiences are not mathematics – you hate it when your body is treated like a keyboard! It is almost a mystical experience, far removed from words and concepts. It is beauty in the flow. There is no substitute to just having your sexual body take over your mind, feeling at the centre of your sensuality, just feeling beautiful and feminine like nature. It gives faith in yourself, it shows you who you are. There is no substitute to just feeling the fibres of your soul tremble in it, and when you feel it you know where you want to be every time. How can words describe it to you?
You have to learn to listen to your body
Often women are frustrated that their body is not giving them what they want. They are frustrated that it is not listening to them. But are you listening to your it yourself? Your body has its own intelligence, and needs. When you follow this intelligence and provide for those needs things happen a lot easier for you. But first you need to learn to listen, to become sensitive to what your body feels at different times.
Just feeling the intensity of your clitoris or desire is not enough. You have to hear your body everywhere, in the depth too, to discover all that it can give and all that it needs. This will only happen through exposure to the right touch and the right sensation. It may be difficult to find in the usual sexual encounters – but a professional Tantric massage is designed exactly for that.
Can you explore it with a partner?
Of course. Everything a Tantric massage gives you is for you to explore with your partner – present or future. But once you do get into a relationship how do you begin? Even if you have the ideas, will your partner provide the right space for you to discover these new feelings in yourself? Will you know what to tell him to provide it for you? If he can do this for you, this is ideal – but if not it may be worth getting the right experience yourself first.
Also, keep in mind that when it is both ways the picture gets a lot more complicated, and things may be difficult to explore in the beginning without frustrations with each other. You will have to be proactive towards him too at the same time. It may be easier to just feel for yourself through a Tantric massage first before you have to give the same to him.
Taking it on Faith vs Experience
The problem with Tantric sexuality is that it can seem far-fetched. (It’s not!) When you take something on faith you doubt it and you may not stick around to let things come out to the point that you see them happen. When someone guides you into this you believe in it because you know what your body felt, you know how you felt, you know it exists. Then you will go there expecting it to happen, not hoping and doubting.
Your discomfort about the idea of a Tantric massage is a reason to have it
The challenges of having the experience of a Tantric massage are also its virtues. It’s not just about the body – its about personal growth as a woman. Facing your fears, opening up, letting go, trusting. Going out of your comfort zone like this you gain a tremendous amount of freedom and confidence. This discomfort about having a Tantric massage is not just a nuisance that troubles you which you would like to go away, it is an integral and important part of your journey.