Many people have sex in the way that they lose sexual energy. The normal practice of sex usually leads to this. However we can keep our sexual energy and even increase it.
We lose our sexual energy in sex for many reasons.
The most obvious reason we don’t keep our sexual energy is through orgasms. This is particularly true for men. When men ejaculate an enormous amount of sexual energy is lost. Men can feel that effect – they may feel tired, cranky, with a lower mood and less of a loving feeling towards their women. It is possible to conserve sexual energy by learning to have sex without ejaculation (yes, you can still enjoy it just as much) or at least channeling the sexual energy well before ejaculating.
However, this is not just true for men. Although women don’t ejaculate, they can still often lose their sexual energy with an orgasm. It depends largely on how the orgasm is achieved. If the woman works hard to get there she will lose her sexual energy and will notice a similar effect as a man. Although in the case of the woman the loss of sexual energy comes not so much physically as from her heart – reflecting more in her moods and feelings. If an orgasm comes organically , it takes less sexual energy away.
To conserve and keep sexual energy we need to learn how to channel it into the body, instead of locking it all in the genitals where it is just expulsed without benefit. Normally we are too focused in the genitals.
Another common reason of losing sexual energy is intense sex. When it is too active, vigorous, fast, a lot of sexual energy is expended during sex even before the orgasm. It is overwhelming for the nervous system and exhausts it. We need to learn to slow down a bit and enjoy sensations that are more moderate and not so overwhelming. At the same time we then give space to ourselves to absorb this sexual energy before we lose it.
When we have sex with more emotional connection we also conserve and keep and not lose sexual energy, because then the sexual energy is not only physical and it becomes spread more globally.
Another common cause of losing sexual energy is when we try to have sex for a long time but we keep it as a linear progression, going up and up all the time. This is exhausting for our system. If you are going to go for a long time, it is good to have periods of more gentle sex where you give yourself space to recuperate. It is ok for the sexual energy to go up and down during sex, it doesn’t have to keep rising all the time. For example, when a correct Yoni massage technique is performed, it will go up and down in intensity and not always up.
Another reason sexual energy can be lost is when we are in a lot of physical strain. It may have to do with a challenging for the body sexual position, or just with the vigor of hard sex. The more your body works the more energy it spends.
Special Tantric sexual techniques that I teach in my London practice teach you to conserve and keep your sexual energy.
The experiential learning session of a Tantric massage for women is one of the ways to start learning some of these important ways to conserve your sexual energy.