Many women don’t have vaginal orgasms in sex. This is the most common complaint when women book a Yoni massage therapy with me in London. Out of those who do, many confess that they experience less of an orgasm in their vagina which leads to disappointment, and they prefer to focus on clitoral orgasm.
Often, women even have vaginal orgasms but they don’t recognise it as such. This happens because women expect vaginal orgasms to feel different, they expect them to be similar to clitoral orgasms. In fact, the feelings and sensations in these two types of orgasms are very different and when you know what to expect you can enjoy both profoundly for how they are different.
One has to realize that the clitoris is more similar to a penis than to the vagina. It means that the sexual behavior of the clitoris is similar to that of a penis. It has similar anatomy, nerves, physiology as the penis. The clitoris gets excited explosively, with raw energy, there is a strong reflex to have an orgasm and tension if it is overstimulated and not released. It doesn’t require much more than a correct physical stimulation to get to that clitoral orgasm, and essentially any correct physical treatment will succeed regardless of the woman’s feelings, who she is with, how her day has been, etc.
The vagina is a different organ. It has very different nerves and physiology. It is closer in its nature to the nature of a woman. The sensations there are more blurry, less clear cut, they are more sophisticated and interflow without that clear linear progression. There can be different qualities of waves and the sensations generally don’t have such a sharp boundary.
That is why sometimes women find it difficult to say if they had a vaginal orgasm or it just felt really good – because they expect a sharp explosive event but the vagina is not like that.
In addition, the quality of feelings in the vagina is a lot more dependent on holistic factors, not just physical stimulation. In fact, through only physical stimulation it is often difficult or just impossible to achieve a vaginal orgasm. Many factors come into play – a woman’s mood, her connection to herself and her partner, her emotions, her relaxation. All these feelings also combine with the physical sensations inside her vagina to give her a global experience of a vaginal orgasm.
To not be disappointed in her vaginal experience, a woman needs to relax her expectations and listen to her vaginal orgasms with curiosity and open mind, valuing the more sensual and emotional nature of them rather than expecting the same physical intensity as her clitoral orgasm would give her.
If you would like to connect with your vaginal orgasms the look into booking a Tantric massage for women session with me in London.