Amongst my London Tantric massage clients, who may come for a wide variety of reason, there is a common thread – most of them suffer in one way or another, to one extent or another, from a lack of sexual confidence. I work with Tantric massage therapy with a very wide range of women in London, and the theme of a lack of sexual confidence is always present. The most frequent issue is a worry that a woman would not be enough to please a man. There are also other reasons women lose their confidence in sex but in this post we will discuss just this one.
If you have problems with sexual confidence, you are not alone, by far. There is an epidemic of a sexual confidence crisis. Women, who are by nature more susceptible to sexual confidence issues, are hit even harder than men.
This problem of “whether I can please a guy” can range from underlying well-hidden worry to an outright inability to relax into sex and enjoy it.
It is very hard in our society to be a sexually confident woman who feels she can keep a man pleased. The standards are sky-high. You have to have a perfection of a body as everything around you is photoshopped. You have to be a master at everything that porn actresses do because men by and large believe that this is what should be on offer and anything other is a lack of skill or is a sign of sexual inhibitions and lack of confidence in sex. You feel that you have to keep a man constantly fascinated with mind-blowing and unexpected sexual experience because we live in a culture where things are always higher, stronger, better, faster, more entertaining. We don’t even know what we want any more, we just know we want it better.
Some men do expect that. In other cases, it is simply the pressure the woman feels from the media while her man is much more accepting and easily pleased than this. But as long as she exerts that pressure on herself it is all the same.
It is hard to live up to that and that is why many women end up in a lost sexual confidence. And the truth is that it’s not only impossible, it also isn’t a solution to try to live up to that. For these expectations will never be satisfied. They are built on always demanding more perfection. They are a product of consumerist and passive attitudes on our part, and we will never be happy if we follow them. These are not the expectations of loving, healthy, respectful relationship. They are a need for constant stimulation, entertainment, service, excitement, escape from boredom and ever increasing intensity.
On the next page you can read more about how the special Tantric technique of Yoni massage can help you.