This article is for women.
You have to understand one thing – between him and you it is you who will have to lead the way to true sexual happiness.
It Is Unlikely You Will Meet A Man Who Can Do Everything Right For You
Many women settle for unsatisfactory sex in exchange for other good things in a relationship. The chances of finding a perfect lover who will know exactly how to make you feel deeply sexually alive seem very slim. It is true – men are not famous for their love-making. They are famous for being fighters and fixers. From birth, a male nature is a lot more restricted in the field of sensuality by its psychology and biology than female nature. From birth, women are a lot closer to intuitive understanding of love, sensuality, beauty. Even their bodies are better designed for fine perceptions.
Besides, women have much more complex and delicate needs in sex than men. It is only natural that the average man is not the best person to understand those needs which don’t exist in his experience and lead both of you into the sensual world of sex. Yet, many women still rely on meeting this guy who will do everything right, and if they don’t, they settle for what is there with a fatalistic acceptance.
So What Is Realistic?
The chances are that you will be with a great guy who will not be an expert in the deeper dimensions of love-making. It is unlikely that you will be the one who, out of all people, will meet the next Casanova – just through probability. Many men are very willing to learn and understand how to make you sexually happier though. The problem is that in their desire to do so they will have informed themselves from all the wrong sources like porn, sensationalist media, gossiping with their friends and superficial sex manuals.
He is willing, but if you want it to be good for you, you will have to educate him. It is not by reciting those sex manuals that you will do that, or by demanding behaviour from him – that will only make him feel insecure and resentful and will make you feel selfish and unloving. You need to inspire him by example, through the radiance of your own sexual energy, and you need to gently guide him with the sensuality of your body, so that he enjoys the whole journey.
Take Responsibility For All That is in Your Control First
Before you even start thinking of what he does you have to take responsibility for your own sexual sensation. We often take a consumerist attitude, that if something feels right we will enjoy it and if not – your lover has to work harder. We create a checkpoint where all entering sensations get searched for how suitable they are.
In fact, there is a lot you can do inside yourself to enhance all the incoming sensations, to make them grow into something stronger and more satisfying. It happens in your world inside, not in his touch. This is a part of what learning Tantric sexual techniques teaches you.
You need to learn to enhance your sexual experiences like that, you need to learn to bring yourself into the most relaxed, positive and conducive space.
Learn As Much As You Can Yourself First
You also need to know what it is that you are guiding him towards, otherwise it is the blind leading the blind.
You need to know all the different ways in which your energy truly flows, what enhances it, what dampens it, what you do to awaken it well and how to channel it between you. You need to see what is possible, you need to believe.
Many women still have lots to discover, still lots to go deeper and deeper into their sexuality to find out where the real happiness is. This comes best through experience, not through reading about it, you believe by seeing.
Your body can’t just follow your intellect, it has its own memory of experiences. It remembers the good ways and you find yourself gravitating towards them instinctively, if your body has had this experience in the past.
Unfortunately, not many women get an experience of deeper sexuality from their uninformed partners. This is why I offer a guided Tantric Massage experience in London for women as a way to safely and comfortably explore it.
Learn About Where He Can Be, Not About Where He Is
You need to learn about male energy too. There are plenty of misconceptions amongst women about how men work. You may know how his very basic sexuality works but what you want to learn is how he can go into a deeper dimension of his own sexuality with you – where he is more able to make you happy and enjoy it himself. That is where most of what we know is a hindrance, not help, a very different knowledge about men is needed.
Inspire Him With Your Own Energy
When you can truly feel yourself, and now how to open yourself to more pleasure, when you know how to make your energies flow, your body will inspire him. You will be able to share it with him through experience. Normally, the female body tries to catch up with male sexuality, even instinctively women propagate male ways in their movement and attitudes. It can be the other way round – female sexual radiance can lead the male body, can relax him into this journey and show him wonderful places, can inspire him to follow you and share what you feel.
And you can always discuss things with him too, but from a place of knowledge and experience, from your own knowledge of your nature, not someone else’s ideas in the media that might not hold true for you in the end, when he tries them.
This would be a way for him to learn through a wonderful journey, because instead of just learning things he has to do for you as hard work – as in sex manuals – this kind of knowledge is always about both partners, a way for him to get more out of it too, to become nourished by sex more, to be more fulfilled in it and to connect with you and love you more.
Through my Tantric Massage exploratory sessions for women I offer you a perfect opportunity to discover yourself, to see how your sexual energy can flow deeper, how you can enhance it, how you can radiate it. It is a safe experience where you don’t need to get into a relationship or wait for that guy who can lead you there. And then, when you know yourself, you can become a guiding light for your partner, present or future.