How To Become a More Sexually Assertive Woman In Sex

Becoming a more sexually assertive woman is a frequent recommendation from sex therapist and counsellors.

 

However, one has to be careful with interpreting it. Being assertive in sex may mean different things –  some are very needed and positive for a woman, and other against her nature and not very good for her.

 

If becoming more sexually assertive means stating your needs clearly then that con only be a good thing. Indeed, partners need to have a way to communicate how they feel in peace and love.

 

Sexual assertiveness in women may also mean initiating more or leading the sex act more. This is where one has to be careful in making a distinction.

 

Women are indeed often the partner who initiates less and follows more. For a woman to enjoy her own creativity more and express herself more can only be a good thing.

 

However, quite often a woman being assertive in bed is seen almost as a woman being sexually dominant, pinning a man down, ripping his clothes off, getting on top and riding him hard, and that sort of thing. In short, a male fantasy of being consumed by a passionate woman. Or a woman clearly stating how she wants to be pleased and bossing the man around.

 

But this is a male taste superimposed on the woman.  It is fun, adventurous sex that women like every now and again or in a casual adventure, but it is not what their deeper self yearns for in a loving relationship.

 

Women  quite rightly feel that they are asked to re-enact a porn scene and get to be the one who directs it too. They feel misplaced in it and it doesn’t resonate and that’s why so many women feel like a failure because they cant be sexually assertive enough.

 

The real power of woman is in her love, when her love can flow sexually, when she feels it feeds her and feeds her man, when she feels like a creative beginning. A woman’s true sexual assertiveness is rather her confidence in her ability to create sexual love and her enjoyment of doing it. It is her ability to create an aesthetic, meaningful, emotionally connecting but also sexually pleasant space.

 

Women need to discover in themselves how their inner love can also be rich as a sexual pleasure, they need to learn to speak and express their love physically. It will be a fulfilling way for a woman to have sex and she will feel very at home with it, naturally becoming more “assertive in sex”.

 

A professional Tantric massage session can connect a woman to her deeper nature and open dimensions of sexuality she had previously not known. And in particular the sexual energy you create in a Yoni massage is an expression of that feminine power you hold.

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