Why A Vibrator Is Harmful

tantric sex and female sexuality articles

Sex therapists have recently come up with the acronym SADD for Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder. Men who masturbate to so much porn that they end up unable to go through real-time stages of sex are said to have SADD.

Women are not as interested in porn as men, but excessive use of vibrators leads to something similar to SADD.

I always recommend my clients to stay off vibrators and many of them happily throw them away after my sessions.

Sex is an act of love and masturbation is an act of love too. Sometimes it is an act of love to yourself, sometimes to someone in your imagination. You would really rob yourself of a wonderful experience if you didn’t see it like this.

Having a cybernetic creature burrow itself into the tender gentleness of your genitals is quite far from love. You are having sex with a robot. Not even a big humanoid robot, just a robotic device in the form of a stick.

The idea, of course, is instant gratification. But, similar to a SADD sufferer, you are now conditioning yourself to patterns that can make normal sex harder to get into. Instant gratification isn’t possible (nor is there any reason why it should be) in real sex. The idea is not to get a fix and walk off, the idea is to spend time together, enjoy a moment of life together, love and be loved, pay attention to each other, honour your love by giving it some of your time.

Yet with a vibrator you are rewiring your sexual being to instantly grab that pleasure, gulp it down and go on about your business. You may be conscious of it and prepared to reverse it at any time, but your body is building its own memory which isn’t that easy to control later.

Unfortunately I see a lot of that effect when I give a female client a Tantric massage. Often a client who has used a vibrator will feel significantly less from exactly the same massage than another client who doesn’t use it.

A vibrator truly is the lowest sexual experience your body can receive even though you get an orgasm. That orgasm is just a flash in the groin (more on that kind of orgasm here) and your sexual body hasn’t even started awakening yet. You receive absolutely nothing else from this experience – the energy doesn’t even start rising to nourish you, to charge you up, to beautify your heart, to bring light to your mind. It is just a sneeze.

You may think that once the sex is there you will easily discard your vibrator experience. But your body has already got used to getting gratification this way, it is used to getting a mediocre pleasure fix with no attention to love or sharing or tenderness. A real sex situation will wake you up to that, of course, but your genitals will find it harder to connect, to feel the man, to be happy, to not be obsessive about a release. Your genitals will not be as sensitive as before, it will take more stimulation to feel pleasant, and of course in real sex there is less stimulation than with a vibrator.

You don’t need that quick fix. Love yourself, love your body, honour that sexual energy in yourself, savour it and drink it slowly. Make time for it instead of watching TV. Touch yourself with the warmth and care of your hand and try to sensitize your genitals to gentle touch. Don’t just rub yourself in loneliness – imagine someone you fancy, make a date with him, live through this fantasy and practise making love to a partner, not to a robot. Not only you will be attracting someone into your life by sending your thoughts onto that wavelength, you will also eventually meet him as a sensitive, loving being that can feel love and pleasure any time.

My clients enjoy learning about touching themselves at home. I don’t publish this knowledge on the website but there is a lot I can tell you about the Tantric way of doing it – when touching yourself makes you grow as a sexual woman and becomes a source of good vibes daily. If you are single there is still a way to have all this positive energy in your life and prepare yourself for a loving sex with a man in the future.

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