Of course it is obvious why women sometimes may believe that receiving a Tantric massage from a man is not desirable and why you should choose a female instead.
Generally you may believe all or one of these three things:
1. When giving you a Tantric massage, a man would be looking to get some sort of sexual gratification for himself rather than do it for you.
It may seem logical that only a female therapist will not have some sort of own interest in touching you and will do a Tantric massage dedicated to you. And indeed, in this market there are definitely a lot of dodgy offers if you are looking at the wrong ad. There are all kinds and your concern is very legitimate.
Whether it is a long-established practitioner or a newbie one who acts in this way, if the practitioner is doing it for their own interest then we are unfortunately talking about bad quality unprofessional Tantric massage and it shouldn’t be performed from that place. There is plenty of bad quality whether it’s with a man or a woman. You get even more ‘goddesses’ and naked ‘therapists’ in female massage parlours, than the dodgy offers from males.
A genuine male Tantric massage therapist will not make a long-term career acting from this kind of motivation without it coming to the surface soon enough, and their level of professionalism will be obvious to you from their presentation and conversation.
Men who genuinely work with female sexuality are few, but they have got there by supporting the woman in what she truly needs. They also would have completed their own journey in sexuality, grounded themselves firmly and don’t operate from the selfish and uncontrolled motivations that you may fear from your general experience with men.
By all means you should have a conversation with your potential choice to get an impression whether your needs are understood and will be focused on.
2. A woman will know better how to touch your body.
Yes it is true that many men have no clue how to touch a woman but they don’t make a career as experts in female sexuality. You are not looking for an average member of the public, you’re looking for a professional with expertise.
Just because the therapist has a female body too doesn’t mean she will be able to provide you with effective and valuable bodywork.
Women are hugely different and it takes extensive experience to see all varieties and work with them – just judging from your own body doesn’t work. If someone is able to do Tantric massage as genuine work it is not because they have a female body – it is because this person has gained a lot of experience with clients. This goes equally for men and women.
The reality that I’m not afraid to say because it’s true is that often a female practitioner may get less experience with women than a male practitioner. This is because the majority of women who offer Tantric massage to women offer it parallel to Tantric massage for men, as you will observe. The vast majority of the clientele is likely to be men, with only the minority being women. The experience with women can be less frequent than that of a male therapist who works exclusively with women. Some female therapists may have extensive experience with women but that is more of an exception than a rule.
In the end one’s expertise is not defined by their experience with their own body but by their knowledge, professionalism and experience with a variety of clients in their work.
3. With a woman you will feel safer.
It is obvious that with a woman you may feel safer. However, the purpose of the Tantric massage for women is not purely to feel safe – after all the safest place is not to venture anywhere. The purpose is to benefit and to grow. A safe environment is important but you have to consider the value and benefit of the work beyond just safety as an aim in itself.
If your challenge is to feel safe and relaxed with men, to feel more connected with your experience with men, then you will be looking for a safe and supportive environment that will help your progress in that direction. That environment is a Tantric massage from a male practitioner, not from a woman.
As a heterosexual woman you are healing and learning to equip yourself to form a healthy sexual interaction with men. An experience with a woman is completely irrelevant to this purpose. So the biggest healing, learning and the maximum response will happen when you are interacting with healthy and supportive male energy.